Even though she once called me out at La Prairie
HQ for hoarding about seven shades of red-pink lipsticks in my purse, I still adore makeup artist and Cheek to Chic
founder Raychel Wade
. I constantly refer friends to her for their weddings (most recently to my betrothed friend Roberta). She’s got some savvy life rules to impart, as well, on the subject of friendship, dudes and more. In Raychel’s words, her Five Rules
1. Learn the art of a good apology.
Apologies are game changers to ongoing feuds. Even if the situation seems completely crazy and one-sided, there’s a healthy chance you have a teeny tiny part to play in why it went askew. No matter what the situation, I always try and look at where I could have behaved differently. Take responsibility for what you did. You might not get the apology in return, but you can sleep well at night.
2. Read the temperature of the room.
No matter how interesting you think you are and how wonderfully funny you stories seem to be, people don’t want to hear them nonstop. Whether on a job or on a date, knowing when to talk and when to listen is invaluable. If you stop for a few moments and take in your environment, you will know exactly what others need from you.
3. Food is one of life’s great pleasures. Enjoy it.
I can easily beat the living pulp out of myself for eating poorly. And if not careful, can spiral into a calorie-counting, point-tracking crazy woman. I love fitting into my skinny jeans but I also LOVED those fried dumplings I had in Chinatown last night. I live in NYC where there is some amazing food so I watch what I eat a lot of the time and splurge the rest. Life’s short so eat!
4. Guilt is a choice.
Why do we always feel guilty about every. single. thing? After recently lamenting to someone about feeling guilty for, oh I don’t know, ordering the fried dumplings (ahem) he said to me, “guilt is a choice.” And he was right. Not only do we need to stop sweating the small stuff, we also need to collectively give ourselves a well deserved break from them too.
5. It’s possible you’re just not that into him.
Goodness, this movement gave us ladies all sorts of rules and regulations to figure out how to get a man to like us. But don’t get so lost in it that you forget to ask yourself the only really important question, ‘do you even like him?’ If you’re not careful you might get so caught up in trying to impress him that you didn’t realize he’s actually quite boring and tells really long stories. (In which case maybe you can gently tell him about a recent lesson you learned regarding the temperature of the room and he’ll shush and ask you about yourself.)
Thanks, Raychel! Stay tuned for more Five Rules.
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