My gal Tamz (also, HAPPY BIRTHDAY, TAMZ!) has joined in for the latest installment of Five Rules For Life! She is one of the funniest gals I know and while I agree with most of her rules… I’m still going to rock yellow. Check it, in Tamar’s words.
1. Just fucking say please and thank you. Like, come on. You are NOT too good for that. No one is. That’s not just a life rule but rather a general rule for not being an asshole.
2. If you’re super pale you SHOULD NOT wear primary colored eyeshadow. Trust me, I’ve tried. Same with frosted white eye shadow. I have the photos to prove it. No, you cannot see them.
3. White people over the age of 12 should not wear yellow. In general. The whiter you are, the greater your chance of looking like an Easter peep. Just accept it. There are SO many other colors for you! Enjoy them.
4. No flipflops EVER. Are you at the beach? Fine. Enjoy, and have an umbrella drink for me. Are you IN MIDTOWN MANHATTAN? Ew. Gross. You’re gonna end up looking like you sludged across a tar trap. Flipflops are NEVER okay in a non-water environment. Also, NO ONE’S toes look good in flipflops. Not mine, and not yours. Also, like, step your shoe game up!! Trade in your flipflops for ballet flats or some cool Oxfords or something that says “I cared enough to pay more than $3.99 for my shoes. Because I’m an adult.” Just because the flipflop fits does not mean you should wear it. Don’t even get me started on hoodies.
5. There’s *almost* no such thing as too much mascara. It’s one of my all-time favorite beauty products. (Topshop, Benefit, Cover Girl, MAC, and Burberry make some of my favorite mascaras, by the way.) I love a loud, bold lash, and I’ll go H.A.M. on, like, five or six coats (at least) to really define and add volume. But there’s a fine line between incredible lashes and incredibly bad lashes. When they’re congealed into one dried-out looking chalky amorphous chunk of failed beauty, you’ve clearly gone too far. But anything before that is pretty much legit.
Thanks, Tamar! Stay tuned for the next installment of Five Rules. In the meantime, tell me yours! Go.