Fictionary: Horr-ends

Fictionary is a column showcasing beauty-related words that don’t exist, but should.

Here’s the thing: If you want long hair, you can pretty much never get your hair cut. That’s the dirty little secret about growing your locks to Disney princess lengths. Virtually no hairstylist will allow you to get just teeny trims (Matthew Fugate at Sally Hershberger Downtown will, but only because he’s a veritable UNICORN). Otherwise, you really need to limit your snip seshes to twice a year.

But YES. Seldom snippage leads to Horr-ends. It’s an amalgam of horrend(ous) ends. Bonus: It’s a homonym for whore-ends. It also ties in nicely with the Polari term for hair.  I know, without regular trims, your ends are a bigger disast than New Coke. What to do?

Enter John Frieda Perfect Ends Sheer Mist ($8 at target.com). Made with Inca Inchi, a micro-oil rich in omega-3, this lightweight mist quickly gets INTO your ravaged ends, mending them (virtually, your ends are still actually frayed, unfortunately, until you get involved with scissors) into their former glossy glory. It’s the follicular equivalent of a WITCH DOCTOR.

When I spray a little on my hair before blowing it out, I find I’m on the receiving end of a STRANGE amount of compliments about my hair. Which is always the goal. Because really: How else do I know my products are working?

What are your favorite stave-off-a-snip methods? SHARE HOROWITZ. Go.

This stuff? REALLY it, unlike what Bill’s hawking here.

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