Here, my series called “Five Rules,” in which I ask others to share their five rules for life.
I can’t be in LA without hanging out with my gal Jamie Stone, publicist extraordinaire and writer of queenofthequarterlifecrisis.com. Here, her Five Rules for Life.
1. Always give a proper hand shake. I don’t think I can even fully explain how turned off I am by a man who shakes my hand with a limp wrist. The same goes for women, only I’ve noticed that women who don’t know how to shake hands often just give you the tips of their cold fingers. Not only is it rude, but it’s also gross. I don’t want to touch the tips of your nasty digits. Thanks. Long story short, if you don’t give me a proper hand shake, I will never take you seriously in life, career or otherwise.
2. Never answer a mystery phone number. For work purposes, this can be debated but I still enforce my strict “no mystery number” policy (or “NMN,” as I like to call it). I promise you, NOTHING GOOD will come from that call. If you care about that person, you’d already have their number and if it’s someone new (and important) they will leave you a voicemail. Simple as that.
3. Say “thank you” when someone holds the door open for you…and if someone doesn’t say it to you when YOU hold the door open, say “you’re welcome” anyway. I’ve never really been afraid of confrontation and over the past few years (mostly here in LA), I’ve found myself the victim of many a thank-less door hold. So yeah, I decided to take action, be a slight asshole, and just say “you’re welcome!” with a big smile on my face. And then I watch (and laugh inside) as they look at me with shock/embarrassment that they didn’t, in fact, say “thank you” in the first place. People are stupid. That could technically be rule number 4 but I’m trying to keep this positive!
4. Know that sometimes revenge can be sweet but the BEST revenge is simply living well. I first heard this motto during an episode of “Seinfeld,” and I’ve followed it ever since. Ok, TRY to follow it. It’s really, really hard, guys…but it’s the truth. I’ve encountered so many people in my life (as I’m sure you have as well) who have just been shitty to me, simply put. Sometimes I think back and wish I could just scream “Oh yeah?! Well look at me now!” But you know what? What would that really prove? That I like to brag? Sometimes, yes. But by simply just LIVING my own life (living well, of course), I’m getting all of the revenge that I really need, and that’s gratifying enough.
5. Stay on your own mat. This is totally stolen from Portia De Rossi. Portia really struck me when she was quoted as saying “You know when you’re in yoga and you’re looking around, thinking, ‘wow, I wish I was that flexible,’ or ‘how come she can hold that pose’? Well, my friend has a saying: ‘stay on your own mat.’ Not physically, but mentally. In life, we’re all made differently: our families, our frames, our personalities and talents. Appreciate how you were made, and stay on your mat. That’s where happiness lies.”