Fictionary: Fakeup

Fictionary is a column showcasing beauty- and dating-related words that don’t exist, but should.

The Fakeup can be like a drive-by shooting.

You and your close male best friend/friend with benefits suddenly have a falling out and out of the clear blue sky, your last phone call of the night is… no one. And you didn’t even realize you’d HAD A LAST PHONE CALL OF THE NIGHT until it becomes stunningly obvious that there’s a clear dearth of That Dude in your lifestyle and you immediately find yourself having to engage in 2-hour long phone conversations with your mother to fill the void.

Naturally, your friends don’t understand, as you weren’t dating. You don’t understand it, either. All you know is that every time you try to ingest anything other than baby carrots, you’re nauseated and you’re totally sad and you couldn’t do that thing you’d do in a legit relashe like PREPARE or even KNOW that this kind of outcome is a possibility because you’re in the process of mourning… a thing that never was.

That, my friends, is a fakeup. Have you experienced one?

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1 Comment Fictionary: Fakeup

  1. Courtney

    OMG, YES. And it’s terrible. My first fakeup was so tragic I didn’t eat for a week. What’s the worst is when you are so mad at the dude, but you can’t say anything without looking like a jealous freak!

    Fakeups are the WORST. Thanks for the laugh this morning!

    Reply

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