Advice I’d Give My High School Self

Happy Friday, all! Any good plans for the weekend? Mine includes two brunches, a brow threading a Shobha, a facial at Amore Pacific, a trip to the MAC PRO store and dinner with Marina at Koi. I’m much looking forward to a beauty-filled weekend. So, the other day, I was thinking about the products I’d share with my high school self if I had a DeLorean and a flux capacitor. I have these thoughts more often than I’d like to admit. Anywho, on the latest list would be a Moroccanoil, Guerlain Tinted Self-tanning Gel and Lumene Blueberry Curl Mascara. In addition to those products, I’d like to extend a little advice (beauty and otherwise) from 2009 me to 1998 me. Here it is:

Dear 1998 Amber:

Grunge is almost over, doll. You’ve suffered long enough. Glamorous inspiration is just around the bend and her name is Britney Spears.

It’s okay that you spend all of your allowance on products weekly at Drug Emporium (RIP). It’s all grist for your beauty mill.

Stock up on the original packaging of Abba Moisture Scentsation Conditioner. They still make it today, but the newer bottle is uninspired.

One day, you’ll be able to step outside in the summer in Philadelphia heat in the RAIN and experience minimal frizz, thanks to the best invention next to DVR and the Internet, the flatiron.

Romy and Michele’s High School Reunion really IS the best movie of all time.

Live a little. It’s okay to eat more than 20 fat grams a day (or whatever fakakta number you deemed appropriate). However, don’t live TOO much. The world will BE your LIVING ROOM you’ll be doing so much living when you get to college.

Start wearing eye cream morning and night right NOW.

By the same token, I can’t effing believe you go to tanning salons. Cut the S, and stay out of the sun, both real and artificial. You DON’T have to be the tannest person at the prom. In fact, 2009 Amber is the only person over 18 who is STILL obsessed with proms.

That beautiful boy you’re dating isn’t mysterious and deep like Jordan Catalano, the way you think he is. There’s no story there to uncover, doll. He’s just a simple dude with nothing to say. You’ll see.

Eventually, your father’s massive aversion to the smell of nail polish won’t be the obstacle that keeps you from your favorite activity (painting your nails whilst watching TV).

You’re right to have a Charlotte-from-Mermaids-esque obsession with the French. Even when you’ve met tons of people from all over the world and have traveled to several countries, you’ll find that no one, anywhere, is more chic.

Getting in trouble for talking isn’t just something that’s going to plague you in Latin class. It’s going to be the theme of your life. One day, you’ll figure out how to earn a living for it.

I wish your City Slickers-esque “one thing” that is the everything in your life were more profound, but it’s a TV show, and it’s called LOST. What can I say, you’re a shallow person. It’ll be on in six years.

2009 Amber

Tell me: What advice would YOU give your high school self?

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7 Comments Advice I’d Give My High School Self

  1. Daneen

    OMG, Amber. This is definitely one of your best. I can’t believe you dropped a Drug Emporium ref. I forgot about that place, and how I used to DRAG my mom there so I could load up on Revlon and L’Oreal. Did you go to the one on Old York Road? If so, add “meet your future friend, Daneen, in the cosmetics aisle” to your list.

  2. Jenna

    I would wax poetic to my younger self about the benefit of sunscreen and how I need to wear it on my face DAILY. Then I’d give myself a Shu eyelash curler and a tinted moisturizer like Laura Mercier (I was wearing liquid foundation… I really didn’t need so much coverage). Though not sure I’d actually use the eyelash curler, as my best friend Erin had to PIN ME DOWN to curl my eyelashes for me.

  3. bestfashionforever

    I love this post. It’s so true. With the exception of the flatiron, I can relate to everything you mention. I can’t believe I used to tan (real not artificial), dye my hair red and wear Doc Martens. Funny to think that 30 is right around the corner. Thanks for the laugh!

    P.S. I used to frequent Drug Emporium as if it was my job. Those were the days.


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