Not Without My MBTs

It appears impulse shopping runs in the family. This summer, my parents visited NYC for the weekend and after being dragged into a shoe store by mom, it was my FATHER who emerged the victor: he bought a pair of $250 MBT sneakers. My mother left the store empty handed. Of course, later that night over a meal at Sushi Samba, I noticed he was wearing them, and I immediately had to know ALL about them. I’d been lusting after MBTs after seeing them featured in the Bliss catalogue. FYI: The Bliss catalogue is SUPER evil. It’s just, you know, a compilation of all things amazing: beauty products, makeup, cashmere, gorgeous clothes, shoes, AND even Spanx. So my father bought his MBTs to help with his back problem and because they were so amazing (he no longer has to go to his chiropractor every week as he did before. BTW, Bobby McFerrin of “Don’t Worry be Happy” fame also frequents the same doctor…funny, right?) he offered to finance MY pair of MBTs. I could not believe it. I immediately went to bliss’ website and chose a pair of grey ones that came with a free bottle of Fat Girl Slim (like you thought I’d be able to just buy SHOES from the Bliss catalogue). They are nothing short of amazing. In the 6 months since they arrived, I’ve worn them to and from work, to the gym, I pack them for all vacations, and I try to walk at least an hour a day in them.

Here’s what Bliss says about them:
“Meet the world’s most celebrated shoe… Like an invisible personal trainer, they subtly strengthen and engage, increasing precious blood flow to ‘problem areas’ every moment you have them on. They’re coveted by cottage-cheese afflicted supermodels, moms and athletes alike. They tone muscles, better your balance, improve posture, help varicose veins and– God save the Queen– have been known to swiftly sack cellulite. “

It’s totes true, dolls. They require work to balance in them, so your core is strengthened, as are your legs AND your posture improves. And–the cellulite IS less noticeable. They’re based on a tribe in Africa (the Masai) who walk barefoot. So you can feel totally cultural in addition to having extraordinarily fab posture.

Two things that are not so superfantastic about them (not counting the steep price):

1. They are absolutely hideous. You’ll look like an extra from Back to the Future 2 for the scene where Marty journeys to 2015 (SCARY that it will BE 2015 in like, 5 minutes) and meets his son who’s wearing a rainbow colored vinyl coat and some crazy ass sneakers. They could totally pass for MBTs.

2. Do NOT, I repeat, NOT go on a trampoline wearing these under any circumstances. Yours truly took an “urban rebounding” class on Saturday morning wearing, as per ush, my MBTs. I had a DEVIL of a time balancing on a trampoline (which is difficult enough) wearing shoes you need to balance in just to remain upright. It was like a perfect storm of unbalance, and I nearly twisted my ankle every time our sadist-instructor told us to balance on one foot and bounce. BTW, is there anything less urban than a trampoline? I think they should look into a new name for the class. That said, it WAS totally fun. Next week I’ll be back there, wearing normal sneakers.

Buy MBTs at blissworld.com.

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