Hey Baby, What’s Your Sign? NO IT’S NOT.

Dolls, my brother Ethan called me FRANTIC yesterday to tell me about this story on one of NBC’s affiliate sites about how all of the zodiac signs as we know them are wrong and that there’s a NEW, crazypants 13th sign called Ophiuchus. According to the article, I’ve gone from being a prototypical Gemini to a TAURUS. As the offspring of a very dedicated astrologer (I had to take my SATs on my 17th birthday, for instance, because Mercury was in retrograde on all the other test dates), this news was very off-putting to us. Fun fact: Ethan and I were both conceived specifically to be a Leo and a Gemini, respectively. Because my mom and dad are a Leo and a Gemini (respectively). So you see the intensity of the situation.

Taylor Swift, apparently, is an Ophiuchus,” reported Ethan. Allegedly, this is the new “guide”:


Capricorn: Jan. 20 – Feb. 16
Aquarius: Feb. 16 – March 11
Pisces: March 11- April 18
Aries: April 18- May 13
Taurus: May 13- June 21
Gemini: June 21- July 20
Cancer: July 20- Aug. 10
Leo: Aug. 10- Sept. 16
Virgo: Sept. 16- Oct. 30
Libra: Oct. 30- Nov. 23
Scorpio: Nov. 23- Nov. 29
Ophiuchus: Nov. 29- Dec. 17



However, bear in mind that the great Susan Miller, astrologer to the stars, says that this is all BS. I, for one, am horrified. I refuse to be a Taurus. How am I going to explain my multiple personalities and tendency to get in trouble for talking if I’m not a Gemini? 


What do you think of all this? 

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5 Comments Hey Baby, What’s Your Sign? NO IT’S NOT.

  1. beautybets

    I’m a hor (get it?) but this was news to me! On one hand, it explains how I could be a cancer who isn’t a hard-shelled homebody. On the other hand, I can barely identify with the traits expressed by my “new” sign, Gemini. I don’t even KNOW a single Gemini, except your brother Amber. Maybe I should go see a psychic to clear all of this up . . .

    Reply
  2. styrch

    Apparently they’ve known about this for years and every once in a while it comes back up for debate. Essentially, it’s a choice whether or not to change your sign. I can not see myself as a Capricorn. I’m not that… stable. LOL Always will I consider myself an Aquarius (plus I don’t want to change my tattoo THAT much).

    Reply

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